i have always had a knack for drawing. i loved sitting down for hours and using the outlet to get away from life, ever since i was little.

when i was in the first grade, my main teacher, Mrs.Thompson saw me drawing a pony. ( i really liked horses as a little girl...) she quickly grabbed my paper and asked me quite aggressively if i had traced it. when she realized that i had no tracing tools or reference for the drawing, she took it from my possession to show the art teacher in the school.

all of this happened without any input from me. we had art next, so Mrs.Thompson had the opportunity to show the art teacher my drawing soon after taking it. when she showed the art teacher my drawing, she did it in a matter that seemed almost irritated at the fact that i had drawn a decent looking horse. (she was kind of ridiculous)

the art teacher was a nice lady however, compared to my first grade teacher. as Mrs.Thompson asked her if it was possible that a first grader would have drawn what was on the paper, the art teacher quickly told her yes, that i was just talented. Mrs.Thompson did not like that answer.

it wasn't really a compliment from my teacher. i knew she didn't like me. in fact, she didn't like children in general. she told us once, when a little girl in my class had asked her why she had no kids. she was a young teacher at the time, in her late 20's i believe but i remember her being really immature in her manner.

i took the whole ordeal as a compliment though, it was a rude gesture from an adult that somehow showed me that i had a special gift for drawing.

nowadays, i don't draw much. whether that's because i'm too busy or because i don't have the creative energy in me anymore, i don't really know.

sometimes, i get inspired to draw, but i can't just sit down and do it for whatever reason.

it has to be perfect and exactly like how i envisioned it. when it isn't, it makes me feel dejected so i just give up immediately after.

the perfectionist in me really likes beating me with a metaphorical stick when i decide to get creative. (it doesn't do that with any other thing i do, though.)

-aneri